Category: Let's talk
earlier I was on here and two users were practically undressing each other, virtually of course, in public quicknotes. It got me thinking that the level of attraction these two particular users were showing towards each other, was most likely not something they would display if they were in an actual public place. so I was wondering, what would you deem to be acceptable, how close would you want to get to a guy/girl in a public place? and I'm talking in a real place here not on line, and is your perception of what is acceptable in public, different to what is acceptable on a public chat server? and if so, why.
I think, using the movie raitings analogy, as long as it's G or PG, that's fine. Long kissing in public would be unacceptable unless they were away from public eyes, like behind a restaurant where no one looks or something. I heard recently about a guy videotaping two people in a nightclub who were having sex, now that is way way way out of line!
Persoanlly, I'm not really much for public signs of effection. Holding hands yes, and a kiss hello or good bye is fine, but I find these people who just carry on like they're the only ones in the room a bit much.
my scentiments exactly puggle, I think though that what amazes me is that some would show more public affection say, if they were only doing it by means of text, such as on here, than if they were in a public place. Fir instance, it is easier to write ... *user x kisses user y passionately* than to actually do it with lots of people looking on. And apart from anything else, why do people feel the need to do that, after all, most other people really don't wanna see it.
My guess being as I have done many things in the public eye is when the moment catches you, you just do. Having sex in a public night club is a little on the extreem side but at the same time sex should not be confined to the bedroom should it? I don't know where I stand on this topic but what happened to romance? I mean two people kissing I mean a long kiss, shouldn't we be use to it. People kiss on the movies all the time and on T.V. Oh that reminds me of a funny story. My girlfriends mom and her two year old grand daughter were watching a movie on tv. Well two people on the movie started to kiss. This was by no means a R movie I think it was even pg. Anyway, They stopped kissing and the movie went on for a few minutes then the man said to the woman, now where were we. The grand daughter turned to the grand mother and said, now, where were we. and planted a kiss on grand ma's lips. I don't know. It was funny to me anyway. By the way stats show that sixty five percent of women in the UK phantasize about having sex in their bosses offices. What's that saying. ahahahah.
Let me change the topic a little. Is it ok for a mom to breast feed her child at the table in a resturant or at the park where other children play? I mean it's not PDA's but come on it's right there in the public eye. Or like in Maryland it is legal for a man to walk around the streets with his shirt off. However it is illegal for a woman to do the same. Is that wrong? I don't know is what someone is doing something in public as ofensive as the people who stare?
I agree with Melodica. The "movie system" is a good idea. I think that people can show as much affection for someone as they want, as long as it is in private where noone else can see what they are doing. If people want to get intimate with eachother or whatever on here, just do it through private QN's, so the rest of us don't have to know about it.
I agree with Melodica. The "movie system" is a good idea. I think that people can show as much affection for someone as they want, as long as it is in private where noone else can see what they are doing. If people want to get intimate with eachother or whatever on here, just do it through private QN's, so the rest of us don't have to know about it.
I agree with Melodica. The "movie system" is a good idea. I think that people can show as much affection for someone as they want, as long as it is in private where noone else can see what they are doing. If people want to get intimate with eachother or whatever on here, just do it through private QN's, so the rest of us don't have to know about it.
I agree with Melodica. The "movie system" is a good idea. I think that people can show as much affection for someone as they want, as long as it is in private where noone else can see what they are doing. If people want to get intimate with eachother or whatever on here, just do it through private QN's, so the rest of us don't have to know about it.
I agree with Melodica. The "movie system" is a good idea. I think that people can show as much affection for someone as they want, as long as it is in private where noone else can see what they are doing. If people want to get intimate with eachother or whatever on here, just do it through private QN's, so the rest of us don't have to know about it.
well with regards to romance, sure, there's nothing wrong with a little romance, however, if it's on line for example, you have the option of private notes, you don't have to wait till you get home to get close, personally I think some people get all openly affectionate in public qn's to prove a point, after all, there's no need for them to as they have the option of private qn's. as for your point about breastfeeding in public df, it is something a lot of people have a lot of issues on. Recently the law in scotland was changed which means that no restaurant/bar can ask a customer t leave for breastfeeding her child in public. Personally I was never comfortable with the notion of getting my breasts out in public, however as I wasn't ale to breastfeed that was not an issue for me. I do not however object to other women breastfeeding in public, after all, it is the natural way to feed a child, and you can do it discretely, by placing the child under your top or a blanket or whatever, you don't have to "whip it out" so to speak. I think a lot of the issue is because of how breasts are perceived, they are seen not as a means to feed our babies, but as secondary sexual organs.
A little off topic, but I've never understood how sexual encounters over a text messenger can even compair to the real thing, let alone how people can take a similar level of offence. Take the earlier example, "User A. passionately kisses User B." which can not possiblhy give any pleasure to either A. or B. but which apparently offends everyone else. What's the point? As for the actual topic, I find it a bit irritating when people carry on in public like there's nobody else there, but I've never seen the point in being seriously put out by it. And then there's the attraction of intimacy in a semi-public place, where there is the threat of being observed, which is something else altogether, but still worth considering. Are we talking about people getting it on in public out of lack of consideration, or because it does something for them? just a thought, Erin
well said sb.
well firstly, whilst I agree totally that you cannot compare on line closeness to the real thing, if two people are atracted to each other, and have no way of showing that physically, then perhaps the best way they can do that is to put that desire into words. I do feel however, that it would have more of an effect if it was done privately, not necessarily because other users wouldn't like it, but because, if you were say to get close in a public place, say a bar, a restaurant .. somewhere like that, you would still be together, whereas on a chat server it's just words going across from one person, to the rest of the members on the server, as opposed to if it was done in private notes, it is being said from one member to another. As for people being offended by it, I don't think it's necessarily so much about offence, personally what people do is up to them, if I don't like it, I can choose not to pay atention to it .. I just think there's a time/place
as for how intimate people get when they are actually in public, don't necessarily think that people think how other people might perceive it. Again, it's not necessarily about offence, more about the fact that some people don't wish to look at two people with their tongues down each other's throats when they're out for a casual drink or whatever, any more than some people don't like to have to listen to bad language or whatever. I think it's really nice to be with someone in public, to hold hands, perhaps put your arm around them and give them a quick kiss, it kind of does say "I'm with you and I don't mind who knows about it", but when you go further than that, I think the message you're putting across is more "I'm going to take you home later and ..." well you can imagine the rest, and, more than likely, so can everyone else who witnesses it.
I breast fed both of my kids and tha twas 20 years ago. There are plenty of ways of doing it without anyone seeing your breast and most of the time people didn't even know I was doing it. I nursed my daughter behind home plate at many a softball game, in church, restaruants and other places. As far public displays of affection, there is a place and time and a limit to what is acceptable. When we are in our favorite bars here in our town, and hubby begins to describe people's behavior, I'm kind of glad I can't see. Makes me want to go tell them to get a hotel room. Most folks get off on knowing others are watching and the rest of us just get disgusted by that type of behavior. Simple hugs, kisses, and of course holding hands is great, getting any more personal is not showing respect for your partner or the other people around you
Carla.
Well, see, I'm not a very social person. I would be extremely uncomfortable showing affection for someone in public, except for holding hands, a hug and a quick kiss, you know, the basic stuff. But honestly, I would not allow anyboyd I didnt know to see me making out with someone or whatever. As for whether others should? Well, I'm not really here to judge that. Its their choice whether they do or not. But I do agree with the fact that its much easier to write something than to actually do/say it. For example, I never learned to express emotions by talking about them, but when I write, I'm totally free and have no boundaries as to what I write, regardless of who's seeing it.
As to the breast feeding issue. Why shouldn't we if we're lucky enough to be able too? I mean, are we ashamed of smiling, and a feeding baby is just as natural, and to me precious. As far as public displays of effection. I do what feels right to me. If I want to turn and grab my husband and kiss him deeply, I do. I don't care who is looking. If they want to look away; shrug, their perogative, and if watching gives them a thrill then that's their problem too. I just want my husband to know how deeply I love him, and honestly, I've had a lot of people ask us how long we've been together, and then tell us that they wish they were so lucky. Very few people have gotten offended, and if they did I don't care. I don't like what other people do, but do they ask me? Nope, so why should I ask them?
all very interesting points to ponder. Witchcraft I applaud you. The whole breast feeding thing puzzel's me. You say people don't know but I smelled it once. I was working at Target and I could smell a woman breast feeding. It is a whole long drawn out story behind but suficeive to say I could and I could hear it. I guess I was shocked. I mean people do it on the bus and like you said texas behind home plate even. I don't knowmabey if you pump before you leave the house? I am not saying you shouldn't it's just not what people are use to seeing.
I can understand the smell thing, I walked around for months smelling like a dairy factory. Yes, they can get quite noisy too, when they get older, you need to be careful because they can throw a blanket off and show the world your breast. When they get to that age, it's best to go to a quiet place as they get easily distracted and just won't eat, whether it's a bottle or the breast. I knew some women who went to the restroom to nurse thier babies. I thought that was awful, would you want to eat your lunch in a public restroom? I think all forms of public displays can be done wiht grace and dignity. Witchcraft likes to kiss her hubby in public and I applaud her. Some people get downright tacky and if that's what they want, then the rest of us just think, what a tacky person. I respect my hubby and myself and wouldn't do anything to embarrass me or him. That doesn't mean I don't hug, kiss or hold his hand in public. Oh, well, sorry for getting on my soap box.
I have a friend who gets really upset when he sees couples together being really intimate because he doesn't have a girlfriend. That makes me think more when I show affection to my boyfriend. I'm not saying we *have to*, but I personally try to keep it much less in public. Besides, I think having most affection given in private is romantic--just a personal preference.